So I didn't get to see my ear today. Dr. Griffiths thought I would be more comfortable leaving the mould on for a few more days, and that it would come off easier Monday when the swelling was down more.
last night I was anticipatory about the possibility of seeing it today, and did some profile checks against my pre-operation pictures that I had sent him. I was shocked when I compared the picture of me with my head back to present. Before, my Microtia ear was much farther forward and higher than my normal ear. Now, they are pretty much even!! I thought that was pretty cool!
Unfortunately, now that I am 9 days out from surgery, I am starting to have itching. Although it's more of a really intense tickling sensation that almost hurts it tickles so much! last night it was mainly around the lobe and the skin below the ear. I couldn't sleep until I gently set a soft blanket on this skin, which totally made the feeling go away. It still had that sensation this morning, but was mainly gone for the rest of the day...it's back now and worse than ever!!!! I don't know whether to laugh or grimace...it's such an odd sensation!
I was disappointed after the appointment and very stir crazy from staying inside as the weather's been cold (my ear has to stay warm for blood flow so that the skin graft takes and it can heal well) and from the pain. I couldn't take it anymore. Dr. Griffiths had told me that downtown Boise was only about 6 blocks away, so I bundled up with my 2 hats and coat hood. I looked goofy, but I just wanted to make sure my ear heals well and I can come home ASAP. I found a nice place to have a good, cheap lunch and walked around until I felt like I just couldn't take one more step I was so sore and the movement hurt. I walked back to the Foote House (I had timed it so I knew about how long I would need to get back so I wouldn't get so worn out I couldn't make it all the way back). It felt so good to get out!!! Tomorrow I will go somewhere with Heidi, her daughter Rosalee, and their Friends Amanda and Talia (I think Talia...can't remember for sure I will update later). We're not sure what we will do yet, but we know of options, we just have to decide! I'm looking forward to getting out again and being with friends!
I just want the mould off now so that I can lightly touch the ear to help with the weird sensations! In the meantime, I will continue setting blankets on it lightly so I can sleep.
As far as healing goes, I can bend over frontwards even easier today. I can also sit up from a leaned back position more like a normal person. I can also reach up with my right had farther and easier with less pain. A few days ago I really couldn't lift it up at all, so this is great! I still just have to be guarded and watch how I move and what I carry with that arm. My lungs are still hurting, but it's improving slowly. I just try to do my breathing exercises like I should.
Overall, things are still going well. I'm overly emotional most of the time still, and a lot of that has to do with the pain medication. It makes me feel TERRIBLE, especially in the mornings for the first couple HOURS. I feel grumpy, depressed, discouraged, exhausted, etc. I just have to keep moving and it goes away and I can fight through the rest of the day. My memory is weird, and sometimes I feel really alert and I am, sometimes I feel really alert and I'm not, and sometimes I feel really not alert and am not alert. It's frustrating because I know it's the medication and I can't work or think my way through it. I just have to accept it. Constipation is still a major problem from it too. I also feel very bloated. my clothes are fitting tighter and I was beginning to worry I had gained about 10 pounds, but I had Dr. Griffiths weigh me today, and I haven't gained any weight at all, which was a relief! The pain killer also makes me hate food and makes it taste bad. I know I'm hungry because my stomach will be grumbling, etc, and because of all the drugs, pain killers, etc, I want to make sure I eat some everyday, but it's difficult because of how I feel. It's not like me to be starving and not be able to think of a single food that sounds good, or even acceptable! I just can't wait not to need it!
So, for now, I just have to stay strong and stay patient. Patience, patience, patience! I have to take care of my health, and remember to have fun too! :)
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